Rise
by diceflynn
Summary: Set sometime after GSD 37/38 - Cagalli -  with some help from a confused Neo - finds some resolve after rescuing Athrun. One Shot.


Set some time after episode 37 of GSD.

Standard Disclaimers apply: i.e. I do not own anything to do with SEED/Destiny or its characters.

_Author's Note:_ This story was written a long time ago (when I was in a state of post-GSD dismay), was recently re-found and I thought it was worth an upload. After watching GSD, I smashed out a number of drabbles, wanting to give Cagalli's character some of the spark back the writers incomprehensibly left out during that series, and to also deal with the fact her relationships with Athrun seemed desperately unresolved. Writing actually helped me to better understand Cagalli during GSD, as well as Cagalli x Athrun. (Also, being older now, I have a much better understanding that (a) people sometimes f**k up and that's ok and (b) 'true love' is never ever easy).

[I should also note that as it has been a while since I've watched GSD, I have no idea if the contents of this story are right from a timeline/continuity perspective...or if the characters, aside from Cagalli, are even in character!].

_Rise._

_Fall._

_Rise._

_Fall._

She watched his chest heave up and down. The movement was erratic, a reflection of his feeble condition, and she could not bear to move her eyes away for fear it would chokingly and abruptly stop.

But it didn't – and his chest continued to rise and fall…_rise and fall…rise…and fall_…

It was horribly bizarre and unnerving to see him in this weakened state. He was usually so strong…his whole being normally radiated with a strength that was not entirely natural. His alert and desperately green eyes absorbing everything; impossibly quick reflexes; muscular power disguised by a lanky appearance; perfect, porcelain and beautifully soft skin…he was so beautiful.

And even still, with bandages adorning his body and an aggrieved expression on his sleeping face stemming from pain that went beyond the physical, she found her breath catching in her throat at how damn beautiful he was. And how she wanted to somehow capture that beauty – steal it, steal him and hold him so that no one else could, so that no one or nothing would take him away from her again… Suddenly she understood why they say people kill their lovers in order to possess them forever.

The noise of a television switching on reminded her that she and Athrun were not alone in the Archangels dispensary. There was also the rose-haired CIC from the Minerva; deep in a drug-induced slumber, pale skin flushed with fever – and the man who called himself Neo despite owning the body of Mwu La Fllaga.

Cagalli had been quite close to Mwu – in a playfully argumentative sort of way. He had taken on a pseudo-older brother role to her; and she had been wretched when she found out about his supposed 'death'. However, she had not yet had the opportunity to properly process his return from the grave – obviously too consumed with the war, Orb, her father's impossible legacy and the ring around her fourth finger… And it didn't seem fair to have an emotional reaction when it was clearly tearing Murrue apart. Cagalli's heart heaved when she thought of the Archangel's captain and how messed up her mind must be…

_But then, in a way, hasn't he sort of returned from the dead?_ Glancing down at the boy she so desperately loved, Cagalli knew that her empathy for Murrue was deepened by her own experiences.

She glanced sideways at the unexpected noise, briefly made eye contact with Neo and resumed her bedside vigil.

"_I wish I would die"_

Unwillingly she recalled their conversation from that morning. Although she tried anxiously to deny it, there was a distance when he spoke to her. He had looked away…torn by his guilt and perceived failures…and she felt as though she had failed to properly explain herself regarding the wedding issue, and worse how her love for him was still unwavering…

"_But it's hard, isn't it?"_

Isn't it, Cagalli? She thought to herself. It was foolish, she knew, deep in heart, to expect him to fall back into her arms. There was so much to talk about…the pain they had caused each other through stupid, _stupid _misunderstandings; backgrounded by the unforgiving strings of war which had pulled them apart in polar directions.

And now was most certainly not the time to do that.

"We've just received word that Orb troops are gathering at the nation's boundaries preparing to go into battle. Orb's current leader, in the absence of Cagalli Yula Attha, has just called a press conference…."

Cagalli's ears pricked up at the news announcement, and she felt the fiery heat in her chest begin to burn with what she now recognised as her consuming desire to serve and protect her nation. Reluctantly, she let her eyes break away from Athrun's sleeping form…

Ungainly, she wheeled her stool closer to Neo's bed. "Oh, do you mind…?" she asked as he glanced at her surprised.

"Go ahead," She sidled up closer to the screen and absorbed the details of the news report. By the end of it her eyes were furrowed, her fists clenched.

"What in humaea's name…?" she cussed under her breath.

"Oi, oi, that's not the language I would expect from a Princess!"

"For humea's sake, you _know_ I hate it when you…!" Cagalli began to retort heatedly, but halted mid sentence with wide eyes, struck with de ja vu. "…call me…that". She eyed him suspiciously. "_Princess'_ are allowed to swear every now and again,"

"Princess' are also supposed to be there for their homeland, aren't they? To 'inspire' the troops and raise morale?"

Cagalli's eyebrows narrowed dangerously, but she was too exhausted to play his game. "There's very little I can do until we get back to Orb; and…" unintentionally she glanced over her shoulder at Athrun.

Neo eyed the blonde-haired girl. He had been observing her over the past week with great curiosity – partially because there was little else to do in the hospital room, but also because there was a nagging familiarity about her. A familiarity that told him the sad, tired girl who watched the blue-haired boy with hunched shoulders was very much out of character. Every now and then, however, what he perceived to be the 'real her' would shine through and the she-rabbit became a radiating lioness; but then overcome by uncertainty and doubt she would retreat away again.

He bit his lip, frustrated at the inexplicable conflicting emotions which had been plaguing him ever since he'd been brought onto this ship…_ever since he'd seen Her face_… This time it was between feeling scorn towards the weak leader of a foolishly idealistic nation, and a burning desire to encourage her, support her, get her back on her feet…

_Dammit Neo._

Even though it most certainly went against her better judgement, Murrue once again found herself walking down the corridor to the dispensary. _Just to see if he's hungry_, she told herself, then berated herself mercilessly for such an uncreative excuse.

As she was about to pass through the dispensary's archway, she was surprised to hear Neo's voice. Again, against better judgement, she peeked around the corner to see who he was addressing and smiled sadly to herself when she saw Cagalli's blonde hair. _Of course_, she thought. The young girl had been glued to Athrun's bedside for the past few days. She knew how the heiress to Orb felt.

Controlling her breathing so she could hear better, she leaned her head against the door and listened to their exchange…

"You know, the doctors here are very good,"

"I'm sorry?" Cagalli looked at the former Earth Forces pilot blankly.

"They seem quite certain he is in a stable condition. I think you can trust their word,"

Again Cagalli struggled to process his words. Essentially she was struggling to get past the fact that Neo/Mwu was engaging her in conversation.

He pretended to be affronted by her lack of response. "I should know you know! I have been here for…a long time now, and I think I'm qualified to tell you first hand, they're a professional team,"

"I'm sorry I didn't mean…" Cagalli paused, her look of bewilderment melting into suspicion. "What are you getting at? Of course I know they're good!"

"I'm just saying, he's going to be alright. He's not going anywhere," Neo gestured off-hand at Athrun, then looked at her seriously. "…and if there are other things you want to take care of…."

Cagalli began to understand. "I know…it's just…" Again, for the umpteenth time in recent memory she felt the unwanted, prickly tears form in her eyes. "…I keep thinking if I look away, even just for a moment…."

"You'll lose him again," Neo finished for her. He'd listened enough to the two kids exchanges to understand where their relationship stood. Not all the details of course, but from what he'd heard this morning it sounded like things had got…complicated. Which for some reason frustrated him inexplicably – they were both still kids, it wasn't fair for them to be dealing with such adult situations!

Neo wondered why on earth he gave a damn.

"Well, he's here, isn't he? He came back?"

"I…I suppose,"

"I don't think that guy's going anywhere now," Neo told her assuredly.

She looked at him with a raised eyebrow, it suddenly dawning on her who she was talking to. "And who are you to say that with such confidence?" she said tartly, getting back a little of her sass.

Neo shrugged. "No one, I guess. But I can tell you that if you're not able to trust him, and your mind is all over the place and anxious about it, you're not going to be able to make the crucial decisions you're going to have to once this piece of junk docks in at Orb," and then added "I think that's something you already know though,"

Cagalli felt oddly calm at his words. "Yes, that's true," her fingers unconsciously started to twist her ring. There was so much they still needed to say…but to have the opportunity to do that; they needed a future that would allow them to.

She pulled the stool by his bedside again, and tenderly touched his face with her ringed hand. It was such a lovely ring, she thought admiringly. What made him choose it? Where did he buy it from? And how did he know her ring size anyway! But for all its prettiness, and for all it symbolised – she knew… "You're right Mwu," she murmured, and with her back to him she gently slid the ring off her finger. "He isn't going anywhere,"

Unexpectedly she felt a warm hand on her back, and turned to find Murrue's kind face. "I'll guarantee that. If he tries to make any wayward escape, I'll authorise Kira to take off in Strike Freedom to bring him back immediately,"

Cagalli giggled and then gave him one final look, trying to absorb ever detail. "There will be time later to talk...and there's so much to talk about," she said confidently, although mostly to herself.

"Of course,"

"Please excuse me. There are a few matters I need to attend to,"

"That's much better!" Neo called after her. "Sounding more like a princess already!"

"Bloody hell Mwu, how many times do I have to tell you not to call me a _bloody_ princess!" she replied throwing her hands in the air, but tossed him a quick smile before leaving the room.


End file.
